I've finally managed to coherently piece together elements to create a microsite (of sorts) in Flash. Uploading the swf for now is beyond me, but here are some screenshots.
It was based on the same idea used for the editorial piece - charity muggers on the streets of Wolverhampton, and offers a witty yet informative exploration of the theme.
Above you can see why this made my head hurt - learning about keyframes, timelines and scripting was like learning a completely new language.
The home screen looks like this, with various buttons which allow you to interact with it. Clicking the people causes the opinion bubbles to appear, the clock causes the chugger to be squashed under the weight... Clicking Greggs starts an animation - a walk-up to the shop which ends in collecting a pasty, although not without interruption.
It took me a long while to get my head around the software, but I'm making progress. Good job, I've got to make another one of these in a fortnight's time.